Our lives are full of moments. Some of those moments represent happy, fun, or exciting memories. We hold on to those memories and they give us joy. We look back at them as adding something good to our life. They might make us smile or take us back to a sweet time from our past. But some of the moments we encounter are hard. They might be hurtful or scary. They might have been traumatic and overwhelming. They might be something that we have can’t let go of and are causing us to be trapped in our past.
I had a conversation about this with one of my daughters today. Sometimes we camp in the past. We pitch a tent and have booked an extended stay. I know what it’s like. I spent most of life camped in my past….camped with a tent made of shame and guilt and stitched together with threads of fear. This tent was where I felt comfortable. To the outside world it seemed insane to live there. My daughter had a great experience with some wonderful people who she thought would be in the same position for a long time. These wonderful people loved on her, helped her see how special she was. They opened her heart to God and gave her hope that she didn’t think was possible. But they moved away right at a time when she was at the height of her joy. God used them to lift her up and show her who He was…and the great plans He has for her. When they moved she was devastated. And she has camped there. I understand.
But today the Lord showed me something very beautiful. It was a window. Where she sees a closed door, the Lord gave her a window. God used these people each in a way that would give her a part of who He is. One gave her the hope of great plans and spoke truth and love right to the depths of her heart. She once felt unnoticed and alone and now this one showed her that was a lie. Another told her she was a butterfly…ready to spread her wings for God and fly. She now saw the possibilities of great things…of things to come. One helped her see that she is valuable and needed in the big scheme of things….that she contributes to the church and those around her. Each of those people gave her a view through the window of how God sees her. But the door…it stands behind her…it is the sadness…the fear…the shame…the guilt…the loss…the disappointments…the failures…it is locked tight and much easier to stare at then looking through a window of possibilities.
This window it holds a great view. It holds the view of the Lord in to the world He created for us. A world of hope…of great plans…of value…of love. God wants us to look through the window and not stare at the dark, closed, and old door.
God wants us to look through the window and see the possibilities. As I challenged my daughter to stop knocking at the door of her past…to stop camping in the hurt…and to look at all of the great gifts that God has given us. Yes, when those wonderful people moved, it was (is) sad and it hurts, but they each gave her a gift and if she can just see the gift instead…if she could just hold out her hands and receive the gift…this window to the hope of Christ.
Each of us has a past…some harder than others…but each represents something important in our lives. Will the past be a closed door or a window?
See the possiblities.
See the beauty.
See the great things that God has for you.
Believe it...trust...and find faith and grace in God's incredible love for you.
Look through the window...it has a great view.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Excess
I am participating in a book study over here at www.marlataviano.com. The book is called 7 An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker. I love this book. I love the content and the author is super funny, relatable, and dives deep in to how to live out the Word of God.
The book study is on chapter 2 and we are looking at issue of clothing excess. Just a quick note if you haven't read it: Jen takes on 7 areas of excess--one each month. The book is sort of a diary of the process and what God teaches her and her family through it. She is writing as it is happening so it is raw and in the moment. She really dives deep in to our purpose here on this earth and how we can really Love God and Love Others...what does it look like when we are imperfect people living in a world of excess and have to have just one more...
Most of you reading know that I lived in a distorted world for most of my life. I allowed fear, shame, and guilt to dictate decisions and choices. I lived a destructive life. I lived in darkness and held most of the events and circumstances that happened in my life in a secret space in my heart. As a result I tried to hide behind my outside appearance. I engaged in an eating disorder, I spent countless hours getting dressed in just the right outfit, applying makeup over and over to make sure every part of it was just right, and constantly checking myself in the mirror. I was NEVER satisfied. This chapter really spoke to my heart.
Jen chooses 7 items of clothing to wear for the month...7...that is it. But what she really teaches us through this process is not just to wear 7 items or eat 7 foods for example, but to live our life with our eyes on Jesus and not on ourselves....fight for justice and really love people...God's people.
p 52-53
"Scripture describes the people who drew Jesus' eye: the poor widow, lepers, the lost and hungry, adulterers, the outcast, the sick and dying. The already dead. Finery and opulence never impressed Jesus; quite the opposite. He lambasted religious leaders for their fancy robes, strutting around as if their ceremonial dress had any bearing on the condition of their hearts.
There is something noble about an assembly of believers in simple clothes, where the lobby isn't filled with people saying, "You look pretty" to one another. Maybe looking pretty isn't the catalyst for the Spirit's movement. Perhaps an obsessive occupation with dresses and hair and shoes detracts us from the point of the gathering: a fixation on Jesus. When the jars of clay remember they are jars of clay, the treasure within gets all the glory, which seems somehow almost fitting."
How I see that is that we can try to make the focus on what we look like whether it be in clothes or our body shape, our hair or makeup instead of on what scripture says that we are to be known for our hearts and not our outward appearance. Jesus is not looking for us to look great...he's looking for us to love him and love others. We don't need to look great to do that!
It isn't bad to want to want to like clothes or a cute outfit. I think that it depends on our motives. We can be expressive without being excessive. We can express our selves with out having soooo much in our closets.
We spend money on clothes in an impulse. We spend money on clothes because we want to fit in and wear the latest trend. We spend money on clothes when we are depressed or hurt to fill a void. We buy clothes to impress.
Jen Hatmaker discusses many ways that we can get rid of the excess we have that will bless others...shelters is one example. She also talks about how our money can be spent elsewhere to help fight for justice for the poor, the orphans and the widows...(isn't that what Jesus asked us to do?). Read the book!!! We have so much excess. If Jesus came to my house right now I think I would be embarrassed at all I had. I would want to stay out on the porch so he couldn't see it all. That is not how I want my relationship with Jesus to be. I want Him to have access to all of me.
On page 67 she writes: "Listen, if my influence is linked to my wardrobe, then my ministry is falsely inflated and built on sand."
I also love (and hate) what she says on page 66: "The average human gets around twenty-five thousand days on the earth, and most of us in the United states of America will get a few more. That's it. This life is a breath. Heaven is coming fast, and we live in that thin space where faith and obedience have relevance. ....We'll stand before Jesus once, and none of our luxuries will accompany us. We'll have one moment to say, "This is how I lived." ...I am determined to make the rest count."
Today I took all of my clothes out of my closet and only returned 1/2. I am sure I will cry later when I wish I had a certain shirt of pants...but really...some of the things I have because maybe someday I may wear it to some certain event that will probably never happen! How much money in clothes do I waste that could go elsewhere???
Tell me what you think about one or all of the quotes from Jen Hatmaker's book. You can visit www.jenhatmaker.com or order her book on Amazon.com.
Blessings,
Teresa
The book study is on chapter 2 and we are looking at issue of clothing excess. Just a quick note if you haven't read it: Jen takes on 7 areas of excess--one each month. The book is sort of a diary of the process and what God teaches her and her family through it. She is writing as it is happening so it is raw and in the moment. She really dives deep in to our purpose here on this earth and how we can really Love God and Love Others...what does it look like when we are imperfect people living in a world of excess and have to have just one more...
Most of you reading know that I lived in a distorted world for most of my life. I allowed fear, shame, and guilt to dictate decisions and choices. I lived a destructive life. I lived in darkness and held most of the events and circumstances that happened in my life in a secret space in my heart. As a result I tried to hide behind my outside appearance. I engaged in an eating disorder, I spent countless hours getting dressed in just the right outfit, applying makeup over and over to make sure every part of it was just right, and constantly checking myself in the mirror. I was NEVER satisfied. This chapter really spoke to my heart.
Jen chooses 7 items of clothing to wear for the month...7...that is it. But what she really teaches us through this process is not just to wear 7 items or eat 7 foods for example, but to live our life with our eyes on Jesus and not on ourselves....fight for justice and really love people...God's people.
p 52-53
"Scripture describes the people who drew Jesus' eye: the poor widow, lepers, the lost and hungry, adulterers, the outcast, the sick and dying. The already dead. Finery and opulence never impressed Jesus; quite the opposite. He lambasted religious leaders for their fancy robes, strutting around as if their ceremonial dress had any bearing on the condition of their hearts.
There is something noble about an assembly of believers in simple clothes, where the lobby isn't filled with people saying, "You look pretty" to one another. Maybe looking pretty isn't the catalyst for the Spirit's movement. Perhaps an obsessive occupation with dresses and hair and shoes detracts us from the point of the gathering: a fixation on Jesus. When the jars of clay remember they are jars of clay, the treasure within gets all the glory, which seems somehow almost fitting."
How I see that is that we can try to make the focus on what we look like whether it be in clothes or our body shape, our hair or makeup instead of on what scripture says that we are to be known for our hearts and not our outward appearance. Jesus is not looking for us to look great...he's looking for us to love him and love others. We don't need to look great to do that!
It isn't bad to want to want to like clothes or a cute outfit. I think that it depends on our motives. We can be expressive without being excessive. We can express our selves with out having soooo much in our closets.
We spend money on clothes in an impulse. We spend money on clothes because we want to fit in and wear the latest trend. We spend money on clothes when we are depressed or hurt to fill a void. We buy clothes to impress.
Jen Hatmaker discusses many ways that we can get rid of the excess we have that will bless others...shelters is one example. She also talks about how our money can be spent elsewhere to help fight for justice for the poor, the orphans and the widows...(isn't that what Jesus asked us to do?). Read the book!!! We have so much excess. If Jesus came to my house right now I think I would be embarrassed at all I had. I would want to stay out on the porch so he couldn't see it all. That is not how I want my relationship with Jesus to be. I want Him to have access to all of me.
On page 67 she writes: "Listen, if my influence is linked to my wardrobe, then my ministry is falsely inflated and built on sand."
I also love (and hate) what she says on page 66: "The average human gets around twenty-five thousand days on the earth, and most of us in the United states of America will get a few more. That's it. This life is a breath. Heaven is coming fast, and we live in that thin space where faith and obedience have relevance. ....We'll stand before Jesus once, and none of our luxuries will accompany us. We'll have one moment to say, "This is how I lived." ...I am determined to make the rest count."
Today I took all of my clothes out of my closet and only returned 1/2. I am sure I will cry later when I wish I had a certain shirt of pants...but really...some of the things I have because maybe someday I may wear it to some certain event that will probably never happen! How much money in clothes do I waste that could go elsewhere???
Tell me what you think about one or all of the quotes from Jen Hatmaker's book. You can visit www.jenhatmaker.com or order her book on Amazon.com.
Blessings,
Teresa
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
A Legacy Left
Last night a dear friend went to be with the Lord. This is just a handful of the buckets of messages people are leaving on facebook about our sweet, lovely, amazing friend. She left a legacy.
(Molly)
What I learned from Eileen Marie Osterbauer Fehlen:
Everyone needs Jesus
Pie and prayer restore body and soul
When you see a need, find someone to meet that need
Meatloaf can be edible...
It's OK to come to worship with pink hair and a leather jacket
When in doubt, call everyone "Honey"
Expect the unexpected, then watch God work
Hugs are always appropriate
Love never fails
Buy yourself a red, Mustang convertable for your birthday
If you have leftovers and a package of noodles, you have dinner
The garage is the perfect place to butcher a deer
We were created in a garden, so plant, grow, harvest and eat
The Good Samaritan is not a myth or theory, but to be lived out.
(Pacia)
Our community has just lost a dearly beloved friend/sister/Mom/Grandma/gardener and Associate Pastor of Stanwood Foursquare Church. In the footsteps of Jesus, she preached good news to the poor, she proclaimed freedom to the prisoners, recovery of sight to the blind, release for the oppressed and proclaimed the year of the Lord's favor. She wasn't afraid of hard work, she always had hugs and enco...uragement and deep, meaningful prayer for everyone. She spear-headed all kinds of outreach ministries for the community and the world that fed and comforted hundreds, even thousands! I am so thankful for the many times she came alongside me when I needed a partner in prayer. Eileen Marie Osterbauer Fehlen died suddenly this week. Many hearts are devastated by the loss, but we know she is enjoying an eternal hug from Jesus... and some well-deserved REST!!!! Rest in peace Sister.
(Vanessa)
People are in our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime." - wisdom given to me from Eileen Fehlen on our way home from cooking for a weekend Men's Retreat. May her legacy of love live through us.
(Jeanne)
Very early on Sunday mornings, this women would pull into the street that faced my bedroom window and flash her lights into my room. As I quickly woke up and looked out my window to see what was going on, this red convertible would speed away. It was her way of telling me to get out of bed and get to church. When I would get to church, she would look at me with those big eyes and smile and very innocently say "It is so good to see you this morning Jeanne." Eileen I have so many memories that make me smile.
(Amy)
My heart is breaking for my dear friend Eileen. She has been my Stanwood mom when I haven't had family around. She prayed for my womb when we wanted children, she prayed for my children when it was time for them to come. She has changed this community with her love and heart for Jesus. I cannot think of one thing she has not had a hand in. From foster care to free clinics, she helps with her hole heart. I need her and love her so!
(Courtney)
Can I be like you when I grow up?
(Kelsea)
To an amazing woman who showed the world to love without reservation, give selflessly, and garden with the best of them: Eileen, you will be missed by so many. May we continue your legacy by the way in which we conduct ourselves in our own lives. Much love to my Fehlen Family on this sad day of loss.
(Anna)
You are deeply missed Grandma Pie :) You left an incredible legacy of love, laughter and how Christians should daily live out Christ love.... Everyone who met you fell in love with you and felt welcomed and like we had always known each other, like family. Stanwood will not be the same without your contagious smile.
(Karen)
She taught me that Christ is here on earth in others. She also taught me that we are all children of God no matter what our circumstances in life. I am so going to miss my friend.
May I learn to live my life as well as Eileen.
I love you Eileen.
Teresa
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Love God and Love Others
This weekend I went to downtown Seattle with two of my kids and our great friend. If you are not from this area...Seattle has a very diverse group of people. Seattle is only an hour away from our house, yet it seems like a different environment all together. If you are in downtown Seattle there is so much to do from the aquarium to Pike Place Market, shopping to sight seeing, parks to boating.
When we found out we were given an amazing gift of going to Seattle to see the Beauty & the Beast musical and staying overnight in a hotel, our family knew that God would want us to give back his blessing. One day God placed on my heart to collect items to make Care Bags for the homeless. So we put a plea out on Facebook and to our church that we wanted to collect certain items to fill some bags. We asked for: new socks, deodorant, soap, Kleenex, hand wipes, granola bars, trail mix, crackers, fruit snacks, etc. In fact we were able to get a lot more with the money donated. We got the portable packages of tuna, raisins, shampoo,toothbrushes, toothpaste and so much more. We found the extra large zip lock bags which hold 2 gallons and filled 8 of them full with "goodies". I wrote a Jeremiah 29:11 on a note card and on the other side wrote a short note...each was different...I prayed over each one and then put one in each bag.
Saturday we left our hotel room with 8 large bags in hands...asking the Lord to guide us. We met Daniel first. He wanted to know how much it cost. Free we said. He looked at the bag and began to list out items he saw. We asked if we could pray for him and if it was okay to put our hands on him as we prayed. So on that street corner we prayed for Daniel. Then we met Donald who was playing his trumpet and was thrilled to hear my daughter Madie played the trumpet. He told us all about his trumpet and showed us the dent and how old it was, but how he loved it. He was full of joy and talked to the kids. We prayed for him. Later we saw him and he played Amazing Grace for us. Then there was Lisa who was reluctant and quiet, but took her bag. Then we met 19 year old Cherokee who was married to Jaron. We left a bag for her friend Jamie who had had left his bag and would be right back. We prayed for all of them. Then we met Ted. He took the bag but did not want prayer. We prayed for him as we walked away. After that we met Star. I could write a whole blog on Star...she touched me heart as I looked her in the eye to see the despair and vacant look she had. She had no hope. I wanted to sit with her all day to reassure her and tell her how beautiful she was. After Star we met Rodriguez. He wasn't homeless, but shining shoes. He was full of personality. He didn't want a bag but wanted prayer. He was fun and full of joy. The last person we gave a bag to was Coreen. She was crying and sad, but all dressed up in her old fur coat and red hat. She said it was her birthday...but I think it may be her birthday every day.
There are so many people who are lacking hope. Who can't see joy. Who are in despair because they feel alone. Many of the people we met we joyful when we talked to them, but for Star and Coreen and Daniel and Lisa...their life was hopeless in their eyes.
Later that day we came across a man who was preaching the Salvation message on the sidewalk. He had an easel with a very large diagram he had drawn and he sat there talking about sin and drawing a visual of sin on one side and salvation on the other and that sin separates us from God...and the bridge to get there is Jesus...Yes...people need to hear this...but he was talking to himself. No one was listening.
And here is all he had to do to tell this same message. Literally remove the poster board from the easel and look across the street to the benches to see the lost and homeless...drop the poster board...go and sit with the people and tell them how God loves them and comfort their broken hearts. Bring hope to the lost. He spent his day with a blinder up...blocking him from what God really wants us to do...which is to Love God and Love Others. Yes, we need to share the message...but who is going to hear if we aren't loving on others.
When we found out we were given an amazing gift of going to Seattle to see the Beauty & the Beast musical and staying overnight in a hotel, our family knew that God would want us to give back his blessing. One day God placed on my heart to collect items to make Care Bags for the homeless. So we put a plea out on Facebook and to our church that we wanted to collect certain items to fill some bags. We asked for: new socks, deodorant, soap, Kleenex, hand wipes, granola bars, trail mix, crackers, fruit snacks, etc. In fact we were able to get a lot more with the money donated. We got the portable packages of tuna, raisins, shampoo,toothbrushes, toothpaste and so much more. We found the extra large zip lock bags which hold 2 gallons and filled 8 of them full with "goodies". I wrote a Jeremiah 29:11 on a note card and on the other side wrote a short note...each was different...I prayed over each one and then put one in each bag.
Saturday we left our hotel room with 8 large bags in hands...asking the Lord to guide us. We met Daniel first. He wanted to know how much it cost. Free we said. He looked at the bag and began to list out items he saw. We asked if we could pray for him and if it was okay to put our hands on him as we prayed. So on that street corner we prayed for Daniel. Then we met Donald who was playing his trumpet and was thrilled to hear my daughter Madie played the trumpet. He told us all about his trumpet and showed us the dent and how old it was, but how he loved it. He was full of joy and talked to the kids. We prayed for him. Later we saw him and he played Amazing Grace for us. Then there was Lisa who was reluctant and quiet, but took her bag. Then we met 19 year old Cherokee who was married to Jaron. We left a bag for her friend Jamie who had had left his bag and would be right back. We prayed for all of them. Then we met Ted. He took the bag but did not want prayer. We prayed for him as we walked away. After that we met Star. I could write a whole blog on Star...she touched me heart as I looked her in the eye to see the despair and vacant look she had. She had no hope. I wanted to sit with her all day to reassure her and tell her how beautiful she was. After Star we met Rodriguez. He wasn't homeless, but shining shoes. He was full of personality. He didn't want a bag but wanted prayer. He was fun and full of joy. The last person we gave a bag to was Coreen. She was crying and sad, but all dressed up in her old fur coat and red hat. She said it was her birthday...but I think it may be her birthday every day.
There are so many people who are lacking hope. Who can't see joy. Who are in despair because they feel alone. Many of the people we met we joyful when we talked to them, but for Star and Coreen and Daniel and Lisa...their life was hopeless in their eyes.
Later that day we came across a man who was preaching the Salvation message on the sidewalk. He had an easel with a very large diagram he had drawn and he sat there talking about sin and drawing a visual of sin on one side and salvation on the other and that sin separates us from God...and the bridge to get there is Jesus...Yes...people need to hear this...but he was talking to himself. No one was listening.
And here is all he had to do to tell this same message. Literally remove the poster board from the easel and look across the street to the benches to see the lost and homeless...drop the poster board...go and sit with the people and tell them how God loves them and comfort their broken hearts. Bring hope to the lost. He spent his day with a blinder up...blocking him from what God really wants us to do...which is to Love God and Love Others. Yes, we need to share the message...but who is going to hear if we aren't loving on others.
Really...I wish I would have walked over to him and taken his poster down and pointed to his mission field. I wanted to say...put down your pen and go sit...go sit and show them who this God is that you are preaching about. Show them. Show them. Show them.
I am a good talker.
I want to be a servant.
Enough Said.
Love you all....
Please pray for my dear friend Eileen and her family. I will talk about it more later...but we may lose from this earth one amazing servant of the Lord...and although I can't mess with God's plans...my heart breaks at the thought of her not being here.
Teresa
I am a good talker.
I want to be a servant.
Enough Said.
Love you all....
Please pray for my dear friend Eileen and her family. I will talk about it more later...but we may lose from this earth one amazing servant of the Lord...and although I can't mess with God's plans...my heart breaks at the thought of her not being here.
Teresa
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Is your Bowl Full?
We have three cats. One is 10 years old. She is white, sheds like crazy, and is a bit neurotic. Another cat is the white cat's grown up kitten who is 9 years old (do the math...he is only one year younger than her). He is brown and black, weighs 27 pounds (yes...I said 27 lbs...not a misprint), and thinks he is a large dog. Our other cat is a petite fluffy, grey cat that my oldest daughter rescued when it was just a few days old. When she brought it home from the vet that she was working at in high school, it looked like a baby mouse...no hair, so tiny. My daughter bottle fed that kitten, woke up at all hours of the night to take care of it, and kept it warm in a make shift little box (and she was in high school at the time). This cat loves to show her love for us!
I am sure I am doing this wrong, but we always have food in our cat dish. When it is empty our white cat gets aggitated. She paces throughout the house. She chases our little grey cat. Our big cat meows without ceasing! We know if she is acting weird the food or water dish are empty. Late last night I realized I forgot to get cat food at the store and their bowl went empty. I decided I would run up to the store in the morning. Too bad cats can't understand our human reasoning. At 5 am this morning the white cat and the big cat decided they did not want to wait. They meowed. They moved the bowl along the kitchen floor. They jumped on my bed. I shut my door. They scratched at my door. They were relentless. They were panicking. I gave in to the pressure and at 7:30 am I was at the store in my sweats buying cat food. Now...they are resting after all of the stress!
As I sat down to do my devotions this morning, I thought of two scenarios as I reflected on my cats. One scenario reflected those who really do not have anything left in their bowl and do not know how they are going to fill it. The other is of people who don't have anything in their bowl (or so it appears to them to be empty), have a way to refill it or fill it to overflowing, but it is never full enough for them.
Both are poor.
Our empty bowl. We think it always has to be full for us to feel safe or content. When it is full we think we can rest. When it is empty we panic. Our focus becomes on how we are going to fill that bowl up.
Those who really do not know how they are going to find anything to fill up their bowl...water or food or health care or safety...their day is spent on finding whatever they can to try to put something in it. They walk hours for water. They work days just to get enough money to feed one meal to their family. They walk miles just to wait in line for hours to get health care if they can.
Then their are some who have everything they need but want more. Even though their bowl is full, to them it appears to be empty. They want the next best thing, more of what they already have, things, food, clothes, stuff. Their bowl is really overflowing...full...but the things that are filling it make the bowl look empty. Do we panic when we think we don't have enough but really we have all we need. Do we worry. Do we spend hours trying to figure out how we are going to get our next bowl full? When in reality we have all we need and others don't know if they will ever have what they REALLY need.
I told (yes, I talked to them...I really wanted to yell at them but I held back) my cats if they could just understand me, they would know I was going to go to the store and get them a bag of food. If they could only hear me they would know they were taken care of. They didn't have to worry. But they are cats...they didn't know.
But we are humans, we should know.
"Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to e content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everyting through Christ who gives me strength." (Philippians 4: 11-14 NLT)
I am human...I should know, but I always seem to want more. I want more clothes when I really have enough. We (my family) have nothing to eat when really our cupboards, fridge and shelves are full. I need another one of "those" to add to my collection because really one or 5o just won't do. It's on sale, I should get it now. I need. I want. I don't have enough. What if I run out? I am so guilty.
My desire is to be content. Not just with the "things" I have but the place I am in my life and all that God has planned for me. I don't need to add my own things, my own plans because God has aready filled my bowl and will keep it full every day. He is enough.
What if we looked at what we already have and see our bowl is full. That is is enough to feed us. What if we decide to instead of overfilling our bowls, we fill someone elses bowl that can't do it for themselves right now.
There are two books right now that I am reading that may give you some ideas on how full our bowls are and what we can do to help others who really in need.
7: an Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker (www.jenhatmaker.com)
A Place at the Table by Chris Seay (www.ChrisSeay.net)
And if you would like to join a read-a-long for the book 7 check out www.marlataviano.com/category/7-read-along/
Have a great day!
Blessings,
Teresa
I am sure I am doing this wrong, but we always have food in our cat dish. When it is empty our white cat gets aggitated. She paces throughout the house. She chases our little grey cat. Our big cat meows without ceasing! We know if she is acting weird the food or water dish are empty. Late last night I realized I forgot to get cat food at the store and their bowl went empty. I decided I would run up to the store in the morning. Too bad cats can't understand our human reasoning. At 5 am this morning the white cat and the big cat decided they did not want to wait. They meowed. They moved the bowl along the kitchen floor. They jumped on my bed. I shut my door. They scratched at my door. They were relentless. They were panicking. I gave in to the pressure and at 7:30 am I was at the store in my sweats buying cat food. Now...they are resting after all of the stress!
As I sat down to do my devotions this morning, I thought of two scenarios as I reflected on my cats. One scenario reflected those who really do not have anything left in their bowl and do not know how they are going to fill it. The other is of people who don't have anything in their bowl (or so it appears to them to be empty), have a way to refill it or fill it to overflowing, but it is never full enough for them.
Both are poor.
Our empty bowl. We think it always has to be full for us to feel safe or content. When it is full we think we can rest. When it is empty we panic. Our focus becomes on how we are going to fill that bowl up.
Those who really do not know how they are going to find anything to fill up their bowl...water or food or health care or safety...their day is spent on finding whatever they can to try to put something in it. They walk hours for water. They work days just to get enough money to feed one meal to their family. They walk miles just to wait in line for hours to get health care if they can.
Then their are some who have everything they need but want more. Even though their bowl is full, to them it appears to be empty. They want the next best thing, more of what they already have, things, food, clothes, stuff. Their bowl is really overflowing...full...but the things that are filling it make the bowl look empty. Do we panic when we think we don't have enough but really we have all we need. Do we worry. Do we spend hours trying to figure out how we are going to get our next bowl full? When in reality we have all we need and others don't know if they will ever have what they REALLY need.
I told (yes, I talked to them...I really wanted to yell at them but I held back) my cats if they could just understand me, they would know I was going to go to the store and get them a bag of food. If they could only hear me they would know they were taken care of. They didn't have to worry. But they are cats...they didn't know.
But we are humans, we should know.
"Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to e content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everyting through Christ who gives me strength." (Philippians 4: 11-14 NLT)
I am human...I should know, but I always seem to want more. I want more clothes when I really have enough. We (my family) have nothing to eat when really our cupboards, fridge and shelves are full. I need another one of "those" to add to my collection because really one or 5o just won't do. It's on sale, I should get it now. I need. I want. I don't have enough. What if I run out? I am so guilty.
My desire is to be content. Not just with the "things" I have but the place I am in my life and all that God has planned for me. I don't need to add my own things, my own plans because God has aready filled my bowl and will keep it full every day. He is enough.
What if we looked at what we already have and see our bowl is full. That is is enough to feed us. What if we decide to instead of overfilling our bowls, we fill someone elses bowl that can't do it for themselves right now.
There are two books right now that I am reading that may give you some ideas on how full our bowls are and what we can do to help others who really in need.
7: an Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker (www.jenhatmaker.com)
A Place at the Table by Chris Seay (www.ChrisSeay.net)
And if you would like to join a read-a-long for the book 7 check out www.marlataviano.com/category/7-read-along/
Have a great day!
Blessings,
Teresa
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Sometimes We Don't Say Anything
Today my daughter sat at the kitchen table.
Her eyes staring at her composition book.
Her pencil running across the page.
Her eyes showing her frustrations.
Math.
She looks at me, with tears in her eyes and asks me "why don't I get this?". She says she would rather get math than anything else in the world right now.
She tries again.
Papers are crumpled.
Head in her hands.
Her anger is showing. She pulls at her hair.
I tell her to take a break.
She wants to go to her room. But I worry. There was a time when she was angry and she would go in her room and hurt herself.
I tell her that I will be there soon. Not to hurt herself. I have to say it.
She says she just wants to clear my head.
A minute later I hear her ripping papers in pieces.
I open her door. She is mad, sad, and frustrated. Ripping papers gave her an outlet. I am happy she used other ways to let out her anger. More than happy.
I sit on her bed.
I want to tell her the right thing. I want to encourage her and tell her she is smart and everything will be okay. I want to tell her not to worry--everything will work out.
But I don't.
I am silent.
I ask her if she wants me to play with her hair. She has long hair and I pull it through my fingers while she lays there quietly, her back to me. I don't say anything.
I wish I could impart some kind of wisdom. Be the one who gives the answer that changes everything. But there are no words right now.
It is like the times when people ask me how they can see themselves as God sees them.
It is like the times when I am asked how I walked through eating disorder recovery.
It is like the times when I am asked how I shed my past, the labels, the memories of trauma.
I don't always have the right thing to say. I wish I did. I wish I could give the magic answer.
But on my own I can't.
What I have to offer is the faith I have that God loves us.
God will bring us peace in times of despair and frustrations.
God is the only answer to bring us through. We must live the Word of God.
I pray for my daughter each time my fingers run through her hair. I ask God to give her peace, to comfort her heart, to give me words that she needs to hear, to help her feel His presence. And soon...I can see her body relax.
God's peace surrounds her.
She still doesn't understand her math.
I still don't have the perfect words.
But I know that God covered her in love and peace.
We don't always have to say something.
Sometimes we just have to sit there and pray and let the other person know that you care.
Let God do the rest.
Blessings,
Teresa
Her eyes staring at her composition book.
Her pencil running across the page.
Her eyes showing her frustrations.
Math.
She looks at me, with tears in her eyes and asks me "why don't I get this?". She says she would rather get math than anything else in the world right now.
She tries again.
Papers are crumpled.
Head in her hands.
Her anger is showing. She pulls at her hair.
I tell her to take a break.
She wants to go to her room. But I worry. There was a time when she was angry and she would go in her room and hurt herself.
I tell her that I will be there soon. Not to hurt herself. I have to say it.
She says she just wants to clear my head.
A minute later I hear her ripping papers in pieces.
I open her door. She is mad, sad, and frustrated. Ripping papers gave her an outlet. I am happy she used other ways to let out her anger. More than happy.
I sit on her bed.
I want to tell her the right thing. I want to encourage her and tell her she is smart and everything will be okay. I want to tell her not to worry--everything will work out.
But I don't.
I am silent.
I ask her if she wants me to play with her hair. She has long hair and I pull it through my fingers while she lays there quietly, her back to me. I don't say anything.
I wish I could impart some kind of wisdom. Be the one who gives the answer that changes everything. But there are no words right now.
It is like the times when people ask me how they can see themselves as God sees them.
It is like the times when I am asked how I walked through eating disorder recovery.
It is like the times when I am asked how I shed my past, the labels, the memories of trauma.
I don't always have the right thing to say. I wish I did. I wish I could give the magic answer.
But on my own I can't.
What I have to offer is the faith I have that God loves us.
God will bring us peace in times of despair and frustrations.
God is the only answer to bring us through. We must live the Word of God.
I pray for my daughter each time my fingers run through her hair. I ask God to give her peace, to comfort her heart, to give me words that she needs to hear, to help her feel His presence. And soon...I can see her body relax.
God's peace surrounds her.
She still doesn't understand her math.
I still don't have the perfect words.
But I know that God covered her in love and peace.
We don't always have to say something.
Sometimes we just have to sit there and pray and let the other person know that you care.
Let God do the rest.
Blessings,
Teresa
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Don't Compromise
Do not compromise when you are being pushed from behind to do something you know is wrong.
Tonight I did my grocery shopping. I do one big shopping trip each month and then supplement with more fresh fruits and vegetables each week. I go by myself. My kids stay home so I am able to concentrate and focus on what I really need to get. My kids prefer to stay home anyway!
On my way home I was driving on the highway that takes me to my house. The speed limit is 55 miles per hour. I was going 55. The person behind me wanted to go faster. I only knew that because he was driving very close to me. I was tempted to drive faster the whole way home. I was tempted to not allow him to think I was a slow poke. But I didn't. I didn't because as I kept watching him in my rear view mirror I heard "don't compromise when you are being pushed from behind to do something you know is wrong". Some people may question me when I say I know that was a message from my loving God, not just for this moment but for moments to come, but I know that it was...I heard it in my thoughts and I heard it in my heart.
It is so important to know what you stand for and not to compromise your integrity. We often will drive to fast only because we are keeping up with the traffic and we may not even know we are doing it. But we need to be aware if we are just "keeping up with the traffic" in our lives.
It is important to know that when someone is behind us whispering in our ear to do something we know is wrong that we aren't going to compromise. We need to know that when someone says go here or do this and we know it is not the right thing, that we can take a stand and drive the speed limit.
Know what you stand for before any thing comes up. Make a decision today of who you are and what you want your life to look like. Create a purpose statement. When you write down your purpose you can check your decisions against it to see if you are matching up with the standards you set for yourself.
We have a family purpose statement. We are able to check our choices and decisions to our purpose statement to see if we are standing by what we want our life to look like.
Don't let someone come up behind you and talk you in to doing something you don't want to do just to fit in with the crowd, be popular, or blend in. You are worth more than that.
Do not compromise when you are being pushed from behind to do something you know is wrong.
Tonight I did my grocery shopping. I do one big shopping trip each month and then supplement with more fresh fruits and vegetables each week. I go by myself. My kids stay home so I am able to concentrate and focus on what I really need to get. My kids prefer to stay home anyway!
On my way home I was driving on the highway that takes me to my house. The speed limit is 55 miles per hour. I was going 55. The person behind me wanted to go faster. I only knew that because he was driving very close to me. I was tempted to drive faster the whole way home. I was tempted to not allow him to think I was a slow poke. But I didn't. I didn't because as I kept watching him in my rear view mirror I heard "don't compromise when you are being pushed from behind to do something you know is wrong". Some people may question me when I say I know that was a message from my loving God, not just for this moment but for moments to come, but I know that it was...I heard it in my thoughts and I heard it in my heart.
It is so important to know what you stand for and not to compromise your integrity. We often will drive to fast only because we are keeping up with the traffic and we may not even know we are doing it. But we need to be aware if we are just "keeping up with the traffic" in our lives.
It is important to know that when someone is behind us whispering in our ear to do something we know is wrong that we aren't going to compromise. We need to know that when someone says go here or do this and we know it is not the right thing, that we can take a stand and drive the speed limit.
Know what you stand for before any thing comes up. Make a decision today of who you are and what you want your life to look like. Create a purpose statement. When you write down your purpose you can check your decisions against it to see if you are matching up with the standards you set for yourself.
We have a family purpose statement. We are able to check our choices and decisions to our purpose statement to see if we are standing by what we want our life to look like.
Don't let someone come up behind you and talk you in to doing something you don't want to do just to fit in with the crowd, be popular, or blend in. You are worth more than that.
Do not compromise when you are being pushed from behind to do something you know is wrong.
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