Today I share my struggle

I am on a vacation right now in a small beach town with my family. In one condo is myself and my three kids (my oldest is driving back and forth because she has work and school), in another condo is my mom and step dad, and yet another condo is my brother, his 2 kids, my brother's girlfriend, her 2 kids and one of their friends. My sister will be joining us on Sunday with her 3 kids and I am so looking forward to her being here.

I sit amongst all of these people the sole believer (except my kids and until my sister arrives) of our loving God. As I am smack dab in the middle of a bit of dysfunction this morning I am grieving that I have allowed the chaos of our relationships and the difference in our personalities to affect me in a negative way. I start off in the morning reading and devouring God's Word, but as the day presses on I slowly forget the promise of my God. I forget the instructions of his Word.

I allow the messy thoughts that crowd my mind to diffuse the light that I so want to shine out to the ones I am around. And it reminds me this morning as I start my day that without God, I do not have a strong foundation. I have planted myself in Jeremiah this week and I marvel at his willingness to stand up for our God. Here he is amongst a nation that is rebelling and choosing to live out their own desires, forgetting all that God did for them to bring them out of captivity. They went from the captivity of a king, to their own induced captivity. God has commissioned Jeremiah the task of being His voice and relaying His message to them. If they would just listen to the countless times God gives them a chance to change. He gives them years and years of chances. He gives them time after time to change their ways. No one wants to hear that they need to change and chose a different way.

So today as I anticipate a day full of relatives, I want to be a light unto them and not just blend in to the crowd. And right here I confess that I have had a hard heart this week. I confess that I have spoken words that do not reflect my God. I confess right here that my attitude has been one of frustration. And right here I am choosing to come back to God, and let him heal my wayward heart (Jer. 3:22).

Jeremiah is getting frustrated that the people won't hear his message. He is doing everything that God has instructed him to do. He is crying out to God and God says to him in chapter 15 verse 19, "you must influence them; do not let them influence you!"

So as I am amongst the people that I love, I allow myself to go "backward instead of forward" (7:24). I will love them with all I have and be a light amongst them. Today I chose to be joyful instead of sorrowful. Today I chose to laugh with my family, to love with my family, to be with my family, to cheer for my family, to pray for my family, and be a light...I am not sure how I can do that with out God...because without him, I am just part of the world, blending in and letting it influence me.

Today I ask you all to pray for me as I choose to rise above the enemy's lies so that I can believe that God is my Hope so that others see that in me. Pray for my mind to be cleansed of frustration. Pray for my heart to be clean and renewed.

Today I get to show you how we all struggle in our daily lives. Today I get to show you that we can confess our weaknesses to others and know that God wants a repentant heart. Today I am showing you a place where I struggle and that is amongst my own family. Today I also hope that I can show you that with God all things are possible and we can rise above these struggles and be victorious. God does not want us to waste our days in frustration and resentment, but in praise and joy. The enemy would love for us to waste our days away....but God wants abundance and life and joy. He also wants us to obey.

Over and over again, God tells Jeremiah that all his people need to do is obey. "Obey me! I have repeated this warning over and over to this day." (11:7) "If you obey me and whatever I command you, then you will be my people and I will be your God." (11:4)
God is grieving for his people. I do not want to be one who God grieves. I want to do the best I can to hear and obey, to love and share His love, to be kind and patient and accepting and have character and integrity. That is my prayer and my hope for today.

Today I share my struggle, but I also share my hope...I share my confession, but I also share that my heart is for God...I share my disappointment in my behavior, but I share my need for God's forgiveness knowing it is there. Today I share that we all have struggles and we can all be overcomers with the hope of our God.

Love today. Forgive today. Hope today. Have joy today. Accept others today. Be a light today.

Love, Teresa