Trust and Believe

Yesterday was the first day of school for 2 of my kids.

The anticipation of the first day brought excitement, fear of the unknown and many questions, and a little bit of worry. My 8th grade daughter received her schedule on Tuesday. She didn't have any classes with her best friend or worse yet for her...they did not have lunch together.

Yesterday she came home from her first day...broke down crying and proclaimed that day "the worse first day ever". The list of reasons was like one of those papers you take a hold of and all of the sudden it keeps unfolding and appears to be a never ending list. My heart broke for her. I wanted to go running down to the school and change everything for her so she would feel better. I wanted to hack in to the school's computer system so I could secretly change her schedule to include all of her favorite teachers and also change her lunch so she could sit with her friend. Oh...it took a lot of restraint.

I think God had his lasso out to rein me in to be able to take a minute to focus on whose she really is. He had to shout through his blow horn to remind me who loved her more than I did. He put lead in my shoes to slow me down and tell me who is in charge....and I wasn't surprised that I didn't get voted to be in charge of this whole situation. Why does that always happen??

Oh God, why does she have to go through this right now? Why can't she just have the teachers she wants and lunch with her friend? Why does she have to cry and be sad? Why do I have to witness it and not be able to change it all right this minute??

God has a bigger and better plan for her than I can imagine. He knows exactly what she is feeling, thinking, wishing, hating, loving. He knows where her heart is. He wants it and He wants all of it. He doesn't want her to hurt and hate...But right now, I believe she has to learn to trust and believe in the one who loves her more than me. Right now I think I have to learn to trust and believe in the one who loves her more than I do.

Last night and this morning, I was praying...begging...God to bring her godly, loving friends FAST to accept her for who she is, pull her under their wing and show her how lovely she is. I have to trust and believe. God loves her more than me. I think his heart breaks for her too...but it also rejoices knowing that she is going to grow in to a strong, faithful girl...and I can't wait to see the transformation. I trust and believe.

I want to fix it all...I want control...but God wants me trust and believe...so she can trust and believe. I have to love her, comfort her, teach her, direct her, support her, accept her, and at the same time hand her completely over to the God who loves her so much.

Trust and believe.

My son on the other hand had the "best first day ever"...which is nice for the one who cried every day before school. I am going to trust and believe that he will have the "best second day ever" as well. I have to add that my dear sweet 10 year old son ironed his polo shirt and khaki shorts the night before his "best first day ever" and it was so cute. He looked quite handsome.

God is goooooooood! Trust and Believe.

Love, Teresa