I am sitting on my bed with my computer on my lap and it is almost noon...Madie is in her room reading a book, still coughing. We have an appointment with her doctor at 1:30. I contemplated what to do with this day at home. I was asked to substitute, but had to say no because of Madie's appointment. I have to let go of the fact that I really needed the job and know that God will provide if I am faithfully obidient. I have had to turn down 3 jobs in the past 3 working days because of sick kids. God is providing the jobs...and I have had to turn them down. I have to believe that God will keep providing them in the coming weeks. I spent time on the computer this week looking for any kind of job that would bring in steady income...there is not a lot out there. I am not sure what to do!! Pray!
So today I took all of my notes, numerous pages I have already written, pictures I have drawn, scripture references, and journal entries that I have had in file folders and organized them in to the three parts that I want my book to reflect. I am playing with naming the book Captive No More...what do you think?
I am usually pretty organized but sometimes I can be very disorganized...I have extremes that are out balance sometimes...(I am working on that). It felt good to get each section in some sort of order. Order makes my sometimes chaotic world feel a little peaceful. :)
I have a whole bunch of pieces of things that I have written and it was beginning to bog me down and stall me from moving forward, so I decided that today would be a good day to get some order to all my "pieces". I was thinking about how I was going to come up with enough meaningful words to create an entire book....I am not sure I have that much to say!! When I wrote my 2 articles that I just submitted, I had to edit and edit and edit...to limit my words but still get my point across, but in a book I need to elaborate, so I have to shift my thinking as I go back and forth as I write in different venues. I am really not a writer, so I it has been a challenge for me. I have to believe that if God is directing me to write this book, to start sharing my story in writing and speaking and I have to trust that He will give me the words. I have to remind myself of Moses when he told God he couldn't speak for Him, but God replied back and asked Moses "who makes a person's mouth?" (Exodus 4) "Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say." Exodus 4:12.
Last night as I was asking God for some direction on this book (that I have a hard time thinking I should be writing) and I got the idea to make it a little unique and creative instead of just an ordinary book. My idea is to use a different approach. So here is my idea. Let me know what you think. It will have 1. things I have written that share my story and my walk to freedom 2. pictures I have drawn that share the emotions and feelings I was having 3. scriptures that kept me focused on God 5. Journal entries that I wrote during my time before, throughout, and after going through the intensive treatment 6. a few digital pictures that I took. I have this visual idea that it will just represent who I am creatively (like a scrapbook or journal) and also share the desire in my heart to tell my testimony in words as well. Maybe that only makes sense to me!
Madie just came to me and thinks we should cancel the doctors appointment because she is feeling better...I think I just want to go so I don't feel like I let a sub job go for no reason (not that taking care of my kids is not a reason)...I know if she starts to feel worse, I will regret not taking her in. I told her we better go any way just to be cautious and see what they say. So off we go...which means I may not edit this post (sorry).
I am sure you probably didn't get much out of this post....but I needed to get all of these thoughts out of my head! I talk to kids most of the time, so thank you for being my sounding board!
I am not sure where I got these, but I wrote them on a piece of paper and found them recently. I think it is a good way to end this random post:
"The enemy know we will be too handicapped to live in consistent victory until we are who God says we are." "The richest testimonies come from people Christ has made whole and who still remember what is was like to be broken." "You are not defined by anything that happened to you or anything you have done. You are only defined by who you are in Christ." I think these are from something Beth Moore wrote. She has an amazing writing gift.
Have a great day. Remember God says you are worthy, beautiful and wonderfully made...don't forget that.
Love, Teresa
I love the idea of adding the pictures and drawings. These can be so personal and most people usually have a hard time sharing such intimate things like these, especially your own drawings. Don't think it through too hard, just keep writing and doing!
ReplyDeleteLove you.