Madie Turns 14

Today is my daughter Madie's 14th birthday. 14. I remember the day she was born. A few hours after she came in to this world, a nurse came in to inform us that she was having problems breathing...in fact, she had stopped breathing and they had to work for 3 minutes to get her breathing again. It happened again. And then again. The hospital we were at was not equipped to take care of her severity of medical needs. So they transferred her to Children's Hospital in Seattle.

There were a few theories on what happened...the medical report ended up saying that Madie had an abrasion inside her head as she was being born and the blood slowly dripped and settled around her ears. She was having seizures and experiencing sleep apnea spells. (That is the short, non medical term version).

She was on a breathing machine for 12 days and at the hospital for 19. She came home on Phenobarbital (an medication to control her seizures).

That was such a scary time in our lives. I did not know the Lord at the time, although I had some sense of the fact that there was a God. I didn't have anything to trust in and I had no where to put my faith. My strength that I searched for only came from inside myself which didn't last or grow or become stronger.

I remember sitting by her bed, wondering what I was suppose to do. I remember holding her and adjusting all of the cords and tubes. And when a cord would move wrong the monitors would beep and alarm. It became hard to know when the alarms were real or just because something was moved to the wrong spot.

When we moved out of ICU, we were put in a room with three other babies. The alarms would go off...other parents were worrying about their babies. It was quiet, except for those alarms and beeps. It was as if you were looking in to a telescope and trying to get a something far away in to focus....a place far away that was too far away to touch or get to.

Now she is sitting on the floor with 3 friends, watching a movie, laughing, painting a big letter M to hang in her room, and talking about boys and friends and what they want to be when they grow up. They are being silly...and dramatic. And I sit and watch and remember the day we drove to the hour from the hospital to Children's wondering what was going to happen to this little baby.

Today I took her out of school and her big sister and I took her shopping. We looked for shirts and shorts and jewelry. We laughed and listened to music on the way to the mall. We put on silly sunglasses and hair accessories...and took silly pictures of ourselves in the stores.

Today she is 14.

14 years ago I wondered and worried if she would be 14 someday...I am so thankful for the gift God gave me when I brought her home finally and now as she has endured some hard years as I struggled....and grown so much and become such a resilient, smart, sweet girl. For the last two weeks at church she has helped in the Preschool and Nursery Room...and all of the adults have told me what a wonderful servant she is....and that made my heart burst with joy.

And 14 years ago I wondered and worried if she would be 14 someday...

So today I ask for prayer for my sweet Madie as she embarks on her 14th year...and pray that she grows to know the wonderful masterpiece that God created her to be.

Love you Madie!