Please Lord, Peace

Out of my window the water is calm and smooth. Pink sky lines the edges of the water. Peace.

A few people are enjoying the beach. Bikes ride by at different paces. People are walking home from various restraunts lining the small beach town roads. A few cars drive by here and there.

My brother is leaving with his family. They could only stay a few days. He is still sick. But home. He can only eat a liquid diet. He is still throwing up. He has lost weight and looks like I did at one point during my eating disorder. I see him. I see me. He doesn't want to be like this. I did.

He couldn't eat tonight with all of us...except tomato soup...and he only ate a little. He said he wanted to eat so bad but couldn't. I remember wanting to eat so bad but wouldn't. Wouldn't when I could.

Although I know that I am free. I am no longer bound by the slavery of it.

But this week has been hard. Not so hard it is taking over my days....but it is on my mind. Avoiding some foods. Worrying about silly things. Did I eat too many grapes? Too much watermelon?

Peace.

God says He is Peace.

Peace.

God I pray I will seek you the rest of the week....for peace and strength and joy.

Peace.

There is fighting and strife...my mom and step dad. Peace. Please Lord. Peace.

Why?

Lord please help me find peace.

The water is calm. The sky is pink. The beach fire is about to be started. Kids eating smores. Peace.

Teresa