Letting Go

Letting go.
Is hard.
Letting go.
Can hurt.
Letting go.
Giving somethings up.
Is hard.

I need to pay my bills.  My hours have been cut.  The Lord said He will provide.  I have been tithing.  I haven't always done that.  Maybe when I "could" based on how I felt.  Now I write my check as soon as I get paid.  Letting go...giving with cheerful heart....knowing God will provide.

I don't have many valuable things in my home.  But I have things I love.  Things that I like to look at and know that are in my house....Like my Willow Tree Angels.  The ones I purchased when I was in treatment for an eating disorder.  I bought one at a time.  Each one has a name on the bottom...mine sat on my shelf..I saw them every day.  Courage.  Healing. Health. Love. Prayer. Wisdom.  Each time I bought one I was in a different place in the healing process.

I have bills that need to be paid.
I am a single mom. 

They are just things. 

A platter with scripture swirled around the edges.  A bag of books.  Wood blocks with encouraging words.   A wrought iron server.  Two hangng wrought iron candle holders.  Two trivets with words of faith.  My angels.

I had to sell them
I had to let go of them
It was hard.
It hurt to hand them to somene else and know I wouldn't see them anymore.
I thought it wouldn't be hard.  They are just things. 
But it was.
I wanted to be strong and tough and all holy...

But
they are just things.
They are just things.
And God does provide.
The money I needed.  It came.  I took some precious items and let go of them,
And God provided.  I let go of my money and tithed and God made a way.  I had to let go though.
I had to give something up first.
It was hard.
Those angels...I loved them so much...but I they are just things.  just things.  just things.
I still have courage.   I still have good health.  I still have wisdom.  I still am healed.  I still am loved.  Even if those angels aren't sitting on my shelf.  I had to let go to receive.  I had to let go to give room for God to do His work.  I had to let go so that I didn't put things ahead of God. 
They way the money came...it was only in a way that God could have fashioned.  It was only in a way that God created.  All of the items were listed individually.  Someone took it all.  She asked what I needed.  She wrote me a check.  I gave her my things.
I tithed....I let go.
I sold things that I loved...I let go.
I let go...and God provided.

"In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples."
Luke 14:32-34

If I believe everything in the Bible...then I get to let go so that I can give and serve and share faith.