Love and Hurt

Today I get to spend the day with a sweet little girl who is about 1 1/2 years old...oh she is to stinking cute with her little leggings and diaper bottom! Right now she is napping...I am extremely jealous that she is tucked in her little portable crib all cozied up with her blanket sleeping so sweetly. I would love to be there right now!

My heart is just swelling with the love of God today. I loved Him the same yesterday, but today is one of those, I am so grateful that I know God kind of days. It is one of those days where tears are on the the verge of pouring out from my eyes at any minute because I am just so in love with God. Today my heart is also hurting...I am not sure if I can really verbalize where the hurt is coming from...it hurts for others who are hurting...it breaks for those who need encouragement and might now get it today...it hurts for someone crying alone and not knowing how to find hope or help...it breaks for myself when I am constantly trying to make life about me.

How can one heart love and hurt so much at the same time?

It is raining outside...but I have a warm fire going.
It is cold outside...but I have a sweatshirt to wear.
I am ready for lunch...and I have food in my fridge.
I am thirsty...and I have clean water to drink.
I am tired and I have a blanket to pull around me.
I have no money but I have a house full of "stuff".
I don't have a job but I have an education.
I am alone with a toddler...but I have amazing friends to call anytime.
I have an old van but it turns on every day when I put the key in.
I have 10 fresh apples sitting in a bowl in the middle of my table...someone else is starving right now...
I don't know how I am going to pay my bills or parent my hurting teenager or find a job or serve God how He wants me to...but I know that God is bigger than all of that...I know that God is real and I know that God is love and God knows best and I think I know my needs, but only God really knows (a run on sentence I know)...and I know that today God's love is going to burst out of my heart and I hope it lands on someone that I come in contact with.

I have so much.
I have more than I need.

God is refining and purifying me right here right now!
Zechariah 13:9 "I will bring their group through the fire and make them pure. I will refine them like silver and purify them like gold. They will call on my name, and I will answer them. I will say 'these are my people,' and they will say, 'the Lord is our God'."

Yesterday I went to the store to get milk. While I was there I saw a couple that I know and we started chatting. I hadn't seen them for a while. We were talking about kids, faith, life, catching up in the middle of the grocery store. People were walking all around us, passing us by, getting what they needed or wanted...and we sat and talked about God. We talked about how good God was all the time. As I was talking about my family and my life...the husband said "it is always so encouraging to talk to you." He said I love to hear how you get through your struggles and the trials that you have been through. He said I love to see how God works in your life and how you are willing to share that with people.

I don't say that to brag. I say that because I just got done reading in Acts 20 v1 "...he encouraged the believers". and v 24 "But my life is worth nothing to me, unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus-the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God." I say that to you because I want us to all know that people need to hear the struggles and the faith..they need to hear the trials and the how God is the only way we make it through....they need to hear little faith stories so that maybe they can have a little faith today.

So today I am going to not stop bursting with my love for God and I not going to stop hurting for those whose hearts are breaking...I am going to not stop sharing my struggles or my faith stories...I am going to just believe today...believe that God is right here right now...

...even if I don't get to crawl in to that little portable crib with my blanket and take a nap!

I think I didn't stick to one topic here today...but I am okay with that...I got to share my heart.

(I encourage you to go to the blog listed on the side of my blog: Marla Taviano...her blog touched my heart today.)

Love, Teresa