NOW

One spring day when my son Jack was about 18 months old, he decided that he wanted to go outside and play in the front yard. Normally that would have been a great idea. He still loves to go out in the yard and play. But on this particular day I was in the middle of changing his diaper. I can't remember all of the details of the moment, but I did do the wonderful mom thing and captured the moment in a picture. We found the picture the other day and I am sworn to pinkie swear, double promise on my life and the bible to not show it to anyone.

Jack got up from me changing his diaper before I could get another one on him, got his coat, put it on with out zipping it and stood at the door with his hand on the door knob. Of course I told him he had to get dressed first, but that was not the way he saw it. He had predetermined to go outside right at that moment even though he wasn't ready. He wanted to go out even though he was not prepared and he was not even dressed. He set his mind on what he wanted. The picture I have of him at the door, no clothes except his unzipped coat, and hand on the door knob also shows him crying to the point of frustration. We moms are so good at needing to capture the moment!

How often do we come up with an idea and start running to the door before we really know if that is where we should be going? This week I have been learning how to stop, wait, and listen. Now I would much rather run at full speed, get to the destination, and do it on my own terms. But God says that he knows that I need to prepare first and I can only do that one step at a time. I want to my book to be published (and it's not even done), speak to groups of people about my journey, and have all the answers to how I am going to earn enough money to just pay my bills. Get me there now Lord. Let me go out and play NOW! I want it NOW and I am going to cry and throw a fit because I am frustrated. What a great picture that would be of me!

Jack needed to stop, lay back down so I could get his diaper on, get some clothes, socks and shoes on and then we could go out and play. But he wanted to skip all of those pieces to the puzzle and go out and play NOW!

Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God!"

Psalm 62:5 "Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him."

So today I am asking God to help me wait. I am asking God to forgive me for throwing so many fits when I felt He wasn't going fast enough for me. I am asking God to forgive me for not allowing Him to do the work in me first before I move on to the next step. I will try to be still. I will try to wait quietly. I will put my hope in Him. It is so hard to wait! I want to do it NOW.

So while the kids are at school today I am going to just do the next thing that God places in front of me and know that it is the step God wants me to take for now. His now is far better than my now! His plan is far better than my plan. His path is much smoother than my path.

Have a great day! Love, Teresa