Today in the Northwest part of Washington it is cold and sunny. It is one of those days that the air is crisp and when looking out the window everything is clear and well defined. I can see the water from my house on days like this. I can see the tree where the eagles like to land to survey the area around them. I can see the farm lands below our housing development waiting for the farmers to work them. I can see my three fruit trees with out leaves but buds forming and preparing to produce their fruit. I can see my breathe in the air because it is cold and crisp out.
Last night the moon was so big and full. It shone brightly in the clear sky. Stars surrounding it. It was full and round and seemed so perfect. I told my middle daughter...."there is God....He is right there in the sky shining down on you". She is questioning whether He exists or if everything she hears and reads is just a fictional story. I said..."there is a piece of evidence". But she just shrugged it off with a huff. She wants clarity.
Today my oldest daughter is coughing so much. She is sick. She has to work a full day today. Her cough is keeping her awake....making her cry...breaking my heart. I buy her medicine. It doesn't work. She isn't making enough at her job right now and is struggling. I can't help her with medical or car payments or school anymore. It breaks my heart. She is stressed and I can only offer her encouragement. The air is crisp and clear and everything seems so easy to see outside. Inside our house though it seems so jumbled up and foggy. Nothing is well defined.
I trust God. I believe God. I know God will provide. I know it...but some days the pressure of it all...trying to provide and nurture and bring wisdom and do the right thing...just hits me like a gust of wind that came out of no where.
How.
How God.
How God is it going to work?
My middle daughter says she just wants God to show up big and do something that she can see that allows her to believe He is real to her. I tell her her every breath is evidence. That is not enough for her.
How.
How God.
How God is it going to work?
I know God will show me what to do.
The other day I was driving and He whispered in my ear..."I am the Saviour. Jesus. I came to set people free. Do you really believe that? Do you believe I can set people free? Are you living in that freedom that I gave you. Saviour."
Oh, Jesus. I do believe. But help me in my unbelief. Help me see with clarity today the pile of things in front of me that see so huge...that I know I can't fix. That I don't know how to do. I know you came to set us free. Free to see with clarity.
How.
How God.
How is it going to work?
Trust Me...he says.
Believe in Me....he says.
Know that I came to set you free....he says.
Be obedient....he says.
All I can say is "I will".
I will trust you.
I will believe in you.
I will know that you came to see me free.
I will be obidient.
That is how God will make it work. I can't see it. But God can.
How...I don't know...But He does.
Blessings, Teresa
I love you. When things seem the most difficult it's hard to stop focusing on them enough to remember that God is ALWAYS there and will never fail you. You are so right in trusting that God will get you through this, because He will, with anything and everything. To be servents to Him is such an awesome thing I wish everyone could experience. It is through Him that we are set free. He has done incrediblle things in my life, and I can't wait to see what's next.
ReplyDelete"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27